From soup to nuts: Our Tops of 18

Try to Top these:

Now that’s how you keep the bears away. | Weekender Wayne likes show tunes. Submitted by the non-play goers.

Trip Soup | Entrée at Shifflet’s Riverside menu: ‘One Trip Soup & Salad Bar.’ (‘Waiter, can you carelessly walk this around again to make sure it’s been properly tripped?’) Copy of Strunk and White and an armload of hyphens are being rushed over.

Why would you go to Richland Center? | Lodge Owner Jennifer, mystified

I’ve handled fifth graders before. | Lon, our patient to-a-point Richland Center guide.

It used to be a strip club. | Guide Lon, when asked if Honker’s Supper Club is recommended. Submitted by Bryan

It comes from rain. | Ed. Submitted by Bryan

The entire weekend was beyond my expectation … The food was terrible, the conversations were not funny, the people were not friendly. Let’s do it again next year. | “Bob” (possible actual initials: MM)

Directionally challenged caravans | DD

“Turn around.” | See above.

How do you spell Hi Cue? Or Hi Q? | Submitted by Wayne

You drove in from where last night? | No cancelled flight is going to hold back Weekender Bryan, not when there’s a Hertz and two Israeli hitchhikers in Cleveland available.

Zip! Zap! Zop! | MJ. Let word go forth of the newest Weekend tradition, ha-ha warm-ups to take place following the mandatory Friday reading of the Articles of War.

Biggest tragedy since the Taliesin murders. | Imagined headline if the Weekend stargazers had been less nimble.

I don’t want to play anymore. And you need to get me out of here. | Weekender Tommye offers to give up her LRC seat to another player. But the tightly packed seats did not wish to cooperate.

And when two lovers woo, they still say woo-woo-woo. | At Mike’s Café Americain.

The only sance available was a Renai. | Bryan on Detroit. Submitted by Mike

I don’t see very well. | Driver Tommye breaking the news to her hitchhiker.

Did you bring the cheese, Deb? | At Weggy’s, Sharon with the annual cheese conveyance quote.

Mentholated wines. | Sometimes local products are better left to the locals.

The Mick Move. | When asked how the ashy chardonnay tastes while still at the winery, inconspicuously rub your upper lip before ending with index finger pointing down.

X. | Poet in Mineral Point non-verbally expressing his opinion of the traditional haiku formula. (See “Afterku”)

Voted Top of the Tops:

Why are you asking me? I’m not the docent. | Bryan has been vested with the Docent-of-the-Day emblems of office; YOS is feeling liberated. Submitted by Ed.

I’ve been ginned. | Sharon’s announcement of victimhood on Saturday night.

Is that Mistor Fog? | Soup or salad? Spoken English can get tricky.

I have to finish the other half. | Ed had been called back early by his Name Game team while taking a – break.

What the hell is the Constitution, let alone the Preamble … Who the hell is the Lt. Governor of Illinois? And why? | Some of the test takers of the “Know Your Government” GoH contest did not impress Principal Hoffman. Submitted by Wayne

Has Mike seen his ducks? | First comment by Lodge Owner Jeff — about photos for a stamp contest — after nearly transforming four Weekenders into speed bumps on their Perseid-watching gravel bed. Submitted by Bryan

Slow the f*** down! | Deb’s blurt immediately preceding the duck query (see above).

We’ve graduated from dithering to equivocating. | Ed, in Richland Center

You were right to wet yourself. | Not satisfied as only Camp Comedy Coach, Deb entertained us with more than one fluid-based episode. Starting on the driveway in Glen Ellyn.

And by acclamation – The #1 Top:

“Which one is the brake?” | Nursing home escapee Tommye, after her hitchhiker Sharon pleaded for a break from their disturbing road trip

Posted in 2018 – WwW XVIII, Top Ten | Leave a comment

Blow, Haiku Siren, Blow!

In honor of the Cradle of the American Haiku Festival, held in Mineral Point while we rollicked, Weekenders — with Haiku Helper forms and yellow whistles on hand — announced their creations:

Frank Lloyd Wright’s all right
Warehouse too much dust and must
Who needs the dumb bat
    . Tommye | Malvolian of the Year

Bean There; Done That
Thou must mind the Bunn
Else thy pot runneth over
Thou hast wet thyself
    . DD | Silver Medal

First time Weekender
Looking forward to some fun
Great times with loved ones
    . Jennifer | Bronze Medal – Tie

 Wright Direction | A Bryku
We start with no guide
From the womb self-docenting
Where’s Bryan Schneider?
    . YOS | Bronze Medal – Tie

 + + +

Hunting lodge is nice
Not good for the animals
Eat corn no read meat
    . Mick

Mary Jo kitchen
Food always so tasty
Join us for some fun
    . Sharon

See Last Line
Opinions? You bet.
Traffic, cookies, jelly beans
Orchestrated rant
    . Deb

Cedar Valley Lodge
Brought us all from our homes
Food! Wine! Improv! Friends!
    . Tommye

Road trip
The date was now set
Spring Green is the next stop
Ready Set Let’s Go
     . Sharon

All the World’s
Just me and a chair?
Clock ticks. Stares. No printed sheet?
* Gulp * Planet Improv
    . YOS

Hey Doodle!
No. This isn’t right
Everybody turn around
Bucolic gridlock
    . Deb

At Cedar Valley
With a bunch of weird people
Amused and confused
    . Ed

You want to what
Oh for the improv
Let loose and let your hair down
A good time for all
    . Sharon

The syllable count.
My place in the bathroom line.
Both five seven five.
    . YOS. From “Haiku Helper”

Ha! Ha! Haiku
Meteor oh my!
The sky was quite a beauty
Tonight was the best
    . MJ, Lu, Fran, Jen, Tommye, Wayne, Mick.
      A Spiteku by the non-play goers to mock those up the Hill

Friday Night
Silent Sentinels
Late Lights Streaking Sky Wonders
Early Light White Dawn
    . Mike

Bump Trump
Trump is a road bump
So hold on till he is gone
Our people save us
    . Wayne

I need a haiku
Love you to the moon and back
Happy to be here
    . Lu

Reflections on the bathroom habits of cows
pie pie pie pie pie
cows can come and cows can go
pie pie pie, pie pie
    . Mike

New pup in the home
And he won our hearts quickly
And likes his friend Jake
    . MJ

G—- : Renku! Haiga!
We’ve all got our own problems.
Lou Gehrig managed.
    . Deb. See “HSA Midwest News – July 2018”

Our Flyku!
Keep your spirits up
The father also rises
You can’t be grounded
    . The Collective. To Joe

Our Comedy Barn
Laugh passed hand to hand
Hitchhiked through dice and docent
Good friends all thumbs up!
    . YOS. Post-end wrap up

Afterku Haibun
On Sunday, a legation of Weekenders visited the Cradle of the American Haiku Festival in Mineral Point. We were admonished there – crossed forearm X for emphasis – that the English language is now considered too heavy for 5/7/5. Mooooon, throoough. Whatever that means. We shall ultimately ignore this warning. Meantime …

Cotton candy despair.
Ghosts of dead rainbows
On my tongue
    . DD | Haibun variation on a theme from Frogpond 37:2

Posted in 2018 – WwW XVIII, Poetry Slam | Leave a comment

Fun Knee: Evaluating 18

Quote whoredom: Our Weekend Tagline

  • You just might wet yourself! | Bryan
  • The hugs are free! After you sign a waiver.
  • Deb’s reference to the owner said it all | Bob
  • So funny Deb will wet herself | Mike [Authorized 19 motto]
  • Thanks, John, ya done good! | Wayne
  • The future is now, be yourself | MJ
  • Enjoy our exciting gravel beds! | YOS

What’s the punchline? (Extra credit for referring to a fellow Weekender or feature of XVIII.)
The set up: “And the first thing I said to the surgeon after waking up from the operation was …

  • … lettuce, tomato, no onion, mayo on the side.” | Mike
  • … Doctor, how do I get this Bryan Schneider off my head?” | YOS
  • … I don’t care what Lu told you. I’m not Jewish.” | YOS
  • … it was my left arm that was broken, you goof!” | Wayne
  • … do I still have my humors? I have to participate in Deb’s improv seminar.” | MJ
  • … did you wash your hands before you started?” | Bob
  • … why was your hand there?” | Bob
  • … did Mike find his ducks?” | DD
  • … slow the f*** down.” | DD

Some thoughts/suggestions for 19

  • Zip Zap Zop ziplines | Mike
  • White Sox ballgame | Wayne
  • Breakfast cheese course. Consider scheduling with the Perseids if Weekend viewing is advantageous | Bryan
  • Water fun | MJ
  • Don’t let John do the planning | Bob
Posted in 2018 – WwW XVIII, Survey Says... | Leave a comment

A wend through Weekends past

Like an internal organ distending with undiagnosable fluid, the Weekend tradition just keeps getting greater:


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Sonnet 17

Our rollicking, frolicsome, Pollocky dream

She layers thinly, he is all Sakrete.
Each bared our own spirit, like woodland Pucks,
Through Weekend. And if we birthed no Magritte,
Yet we shared full joys, loves and laughing yucks

Under swaddling skies – for once not too humid:
A mid-summer play with nonstop undressing,
Wondrous meals, gardens, our Vrooman,
Then, as if to grade school art class, regressing.

A fungus flourishes with fertilizer
And dank (and how do buried talents sprout?).
Though the Muse worried we’d murderlize her,
With beret, face hair and Master Mike, out

came startling art. So cherish your special blue.
Till next year, when our friendships we all renew!



Posted in 2017 – WwW XVII, Poetry Slam | Leave a comment

Top Tens of Seventeen

“What the hell, Odell?” (Tommye, with an update of “To wander around.”)


“That’s not retro. It’s what it is.” (Mick’s observation of the Café 110 décor – and winner of the Most Insightful Comment about Art and Life award.)


“Chicken ain’t up.” (PT’s Barbecue. In life, sometimes the second choice is the best choice. Oh those heavenly ribs.)


“I wish I had worn more comfortable shoes.” (Deb, year 17)


Wayne’s Dali-esque mustache (Deb)


“Nope.” Bryan, staying on message throughout (From Deb)


“Blub.” (Mike attempted a comical reading of the Allerton’s rose bed signage. A nearby crane-sanctuary-like busybody offered an immediate correction.)


“I told George Wendt to go pound sand so I could hang out with you guys.” (Hage. Name dropping is an automatic Top Ten.)


Hanging cheeses. (Ask Weekender Lu about this one. Let’s just say it involves anatomy.)


And the winner of the Smallest Mushroom award … Tony!


Trains may exceed 80 MPH (And given the neighborhood, we strongly advise it.)


All Xmas cards $1.00 (“I’d like every one except this one” … “Okay, that comes to $2,454. Credit or debit?” At the Brown Bag in Monticello.)


Ha ha ha ha! (YOS found what was to become a rather tiresome laugh track app.)


The village of Farmer City.


“No passing zones not striped for next mile.” (Piatt County Highway Department. New contest: How many ways can that be understood?)


Art class / blue mushrooms / Allerton’s mansion / hidden garden (where’s the garden?) / good pizza / enjoyed the antics of the Shakespeare group / squeaky floor / hearty breakfasts / Minooka “vintage” faire / berets and hats / lunch (ice cream) on Saturday with Lu and Spinas at small park with flowers. (Tommye with a flowering of memories)


  • Learning to paint by Mike
  • “Again? How much humility can I stand?”
  • Compliments to John for implementing a spending WWW.

(From Wayne)

Posted in 2017 – WwW XVII, Top Ten | Leave a comment

Some thoughts on Seventeen

Testimonial mottos

  • “Nope.” (From Deb. Inspiration: Bryan)
  • “We put the Weak in Weekend!” (Mike)
  •  He did it again! (Success of WwW, from Wayne)
  • “Yesterday’s memories, tomorrow’s repressions.” (Bryan)

Darkest impulses/thoughts that raced through our minds

  • At some point, stop counting. No one says Fourth of July Parade #242. (Deb)
  • Give everyone only black paint for the sip’n’paint. (Mike)
  • Acoustics in the dining room, walk to the hidden garden, fell on concrete stairs at last moment ☹ but OK. (Tommye)
  • And from our eternally upbeat Weekender Wayne, with Darkest crossed out and Lightest substituted:
    • “Are you well? We both are?”
    • Allerton was fine. Now what about the other six Illinois wonders?

Suggestions for next year

  • Go with “Weekend XVIII” (Heading in the opposite direction from Deb, Mike suggests Super-Bowleque Roman numeralizing.)
  • Let’s go north (Wayne [Papa])
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Ballistic Mizzle

If memory serves:

  • 6 parts lemonade
  • 2 parts whiskey
  • 1 part cinnamon schnapps
  • A muddle of mint


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Weekend 17: Getting artsy with it

From PT’s barbecue to the wonders of Allerton, from half-naked acting to our grand mansion vrooms, it was a Weekend to remember. And thanks to our master teacher, we all came home with priceless fungal souvenirs to keep the memories always with us.

To relive Weekend once more, click around for photos, Top Tens, a sonnet summation and commentary. And check out our Facebook page for more.

Posted in 2017 – WwW XVII | Leave a comment


Due to the never-ending barrage of spammy user registrations, I’ve totally disabled the ability to register as a new user of the 4Images photo gallery system on this website.

If you’d like to post photos, comments, etc., please contact me and I’ll create a 4Images user account for you.

Thank you for your support and patience.

You know what they say about hindsight… anyhoo… I think at some point, we’ll need to transition our photos away from 4Images and into a new WordPress gallery. Maybe there’s a plugin for that. 😕

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