Voting Now Open for Top Ten 2008

Michael Phelps got nothing on us: We earned a record 47 Top Ten entries this year. Please carefully review them herein and then cast your ballot for your ten favorite by number in the “Leave A Comment” section, below.

You can also add another entry there.

The official Top Ten will be announced at the annual Willie Awards, now available on Comcast.

1) “Aristophanes?!” (Bryan’s dramatic reading during the Allen Ludden Papers tour.)

2) “Make historical markers part of your lifestyle.” (From Melissa)

3) “Screw you guys; I’m getting on that canoe.” (Sayeth Deb, referring to an offer from a passing and presumably more handsome group on the river. From Melissa)

4) “Shine on, shine on Sturgeony Moon Ö !” (From Melissa)

5) “My pants are still wet.” (Hage’s periodic announcement. From YOS)

6) Beth’s pina coladas ñ the drink that eats like a meal. (Melissa)

7) “I’ve touched bottom!” (Source unknown. This hopefully referred to contact between a tube and a sandbar.)

8) The Mustard Museum (Melissa)

9) “Daiquiris? They’re extra boozy.” (Beth)

10) Surveying the ditch in the theatre parking lot, ensuring the Bug could traverse it. (Steve)

11) Tubing on the river with Cabana Boy John. (Melissa.)

12) “Can I get a bit of the Kurosawa?” (John requesting his favorite soundtrack song from Beth’s 50-cent plastic flute.)

13) “Is that Homeric or classical Greek?” (Bryan, binoculars in hand, being queried about the words on the prop port-o-potty on stage.)

14)”What frightened me most was that she was dancing with a cleaver.” (Mike, referring to Beth, who really was doing just that. From Amy)

15) Thinly disguised excuse to punch. (From Steve)

16) Do dogs pee in the water while they’re swimming ñ or poop, for that matter? Ö Good boy, Lenny! Good boy. Ö No, downstream, downstream! Ö Oh, that’s just nasty. (The final comment from Hage. From YOS)

17) The memory of last year’s “least memorable moment.” (From Amy.)

18) “Ed, the fire is hot.” (From Steve.)

19) “Going to hell in a Rachel Ray Waste Bowl.” (Bryan, updating a classic. From Mike.)

20) When we learned Deb and Chris are related through their grade school teacher in Dixon. (Amy.)

21) “She is like a fountain of funny.” (Referring, of course, to Beth)

22) Pay showers ñ cleanliness costs. But that was the best eight-bit hosing you’ll find.

23) What exactly is the definition of armload? (An Ed-xistential question, raised by the unit of measure that firewood is sold in at the resort. Many advanced degrees never found a conclusion.)

24) “Yeah, I used to care.” (Deb’s assertion. From Steve.)

25) “Oft won, never washed.” (Ed’s troubling observation on the GoH.)

26) “Don’t f@&# a whore without a condom and don’t put your purse in a urinal.” (Hage’s proposed solution to 80 percent of the nation’s public health issues.)

27) “Anyone want their teeth?” (From Mike)

28) Remedial mooing. (From Steve)

29) “Oh, is there paperwork to fill out?” (Melissa, on seeing Top Tens being completed.)

30) Fly spray. Let’s put that on the list! (Mike.)

31) “Peeease-blossom!” (Mike liked saying that, with corresponding flourish, a lot.)

32) “Oh just get an armload of food.” (Instructions to Bryan on his way to buy fixins for breakfast.)

33) “Don’t forget to use me.” (John said this but he doesn’t know why or when. From Amy.)

34) “Mike, is that a cufflink in your butt(on) hole?” (Thus Spake Sharon, perplexed.)

35) “That’s OK, I just wanted to win.” (Ed, being Ed. From Mike.)

36) “Well, I must have had someone in the bar this morning who worked at a cheese factory.” (Waitress at Puempel’s, after Bryan’s discourse on the bacterial relation between limburger and body odor.)

37) “Come on, everybody, we appear to be in a big hurry.” (Amy gets some backsass after trying to move our tubes downstream instead of sideways.)

38) “Looks like 17 years of vegetarianism out the window.” (Yes, Beth, Sharon’s “tuna” salad will do that to you.)

39) “I’ve always enjoyed the parts I’ve seen.” (Mike on staying awake during the plays. From Amy.)

40) Robert the Doll. (It is critical with this one to enunciate in a Hagean baritone.)

41) “Give me 30 seconds, and I’ll make you happy.” (Mike to Deb. Don’t ask; please. From Amy.)

42) “Since when is tuna a vegetable anyway?” (So wonders Mike. From YOS.)

43) Chilled salad bowls. (Melissa)

44) “My pants are dry.” (See above.)

45) “Evidently I have more than one sphincter.” (Deb. From Steve.)

46) Because they’re cousins, identical cousins Ö (Melissa)

47) “Can you do it backwards, though?” (Bryan, around 1 a.m., on Kneesy Earsy Nosey.*)

* For a tutorial: )

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9 Responses to Voting Now Open for Top Ten 2008

  1. Peaseblossom says:

    Welp, it’s really hard to pick just 10, and to put them in order. Feeling very relativist right now. It all depends. That having been said… here goes, from #1 to #10: 16, 40, 13, 25, 26, 1, 22, 4, 10, and 5.

    Puemples, that reminds me: When we asked that lady if it would be OK to have a dog sit outside with us she responded “Do you want me to bring him a water bowl?” Nice.

    Maybe stay in New Glarus next year. Maybe book now to coincide with the Heidi festival. Plus, they have their own brewery. Or the party cabin, either way. Yes, relativist and indecisive.

  2. Beth & Chris Hage says:

    My favorites are as follows (in no special order):

  3. Deb Dicke says:


  4. Remedial mooer says:

    3, 37, 40, 16, 1, 22, 25, 31, 28, 26


  5. Steve says:

    Another year of fine funnery.

    No particular order (other than in order): 2, 2, 3, 7, 13, 14, 16, 24, 26, 28, 29.

  6. Robert the Doll says:

    Peaseblossom (#31) with corresponding flourish of course.

  7. BAS says:

    24, 25, 39, 36, 27, 4, 29, 23, 38, 33

  8. mjm says:

    16, 2, 1, 3, 19, 22, 29, 23, 38, 40

  9. Elizabeth says:

    Perhaps my entry will not be valid since I did the online course and therefore missed the full flavor of these gems delivered in context. However, as FL DOH staff I must confess a deep affinity for Hage’s #26. The rest in ascending order 1, 13, 14, 19, 22, 23, 24, 32, 45.

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